


Why would I be jealous of a friend?

by WinchesterGirlErnesta



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak - Fandom, olicity - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Jealous!Oliver, Jealousy, Movie Nights, felicity is a total dork and makes oliver watch lord of the rings and harry potter and all, he pretends to hate it but actually loves it, porn to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterGirlErnesta/pseuds/WinchesterGirlErnesta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity goes on a date and Oliver doesn't like it. He is in denial that he likes her as more than a friend. When he finally admits to himself he feels something more, that he wants something more, Oliver is too scared to act on it because he thinks it's one sided. Who knows maybe it is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We are just friends

He digs out his phone for the third time in 10 minutes and looks at the screen. Nothing. No phone calls, no messages so he punches in the so familiar number once again and this time it hits the voice mail. Felicity‘s come and cheery voice telling him to leave a message after the signal which he doesn‘t. He has a sudden urge to throw the phone at the wall but instead he grips it tighter than needed and feels the screen crack under his fingers. Oliver swears under his breath.  
  
“Oliver?“ Diggles voice is laced with concern. “Are you alright?”  
  
“Yeah I’m fine. It’s just Felicity. I’ve been trying to call her all evening but it goes straight to voicemail.” A sudden and horrific thought hits him and he feels the panick rising in the pit of his stomach. The last time he felt such fear was back in the island on his first week there and he shudders voice more shaky than he intended it to be “Maybe she’s in trouble, Diggle? Maybe she needs help and can’t reach us.“ He takes in a sharp breath sounding needy and fearfull to his own ears.  
  
“Oliver” Diggle’s voice is come and if he didn’t know better he’d say it sounds mocking. “I’m sure she’s fine. We are not currently on a pursuit of some villain and it’s a Friday night. She doesn’t have to sit here with us every single moment of her day, you know.” He smiles and Oliver feels stupid. He knows she doesn’t have to but he lov... likes spending time with her. He will never admit it out loud but he feels calmer when she’s in the room with him, it feel like all the horrors he experienced in the island are far far behind. Like it never even happened. Sometimes, when Felicity stays in the warehouse to pull an all nighter trying to hack into some data base or facility he stays too and sleeps on the couch because when she’s there he doesn’t have the nightmares. It’s strange but those nights are the ones he gets the best sleep. So yeah he would like her to spend her Fridays here. Sue him. He doesn’t voice his thoughts though and simply says  
  
“Yeah you are right. She’s probably at home hacking into some FBI data base just cause she can.” A corner of his lip goes upward and he’ll be damned if he ever admits that he feels a pang of pride inside of him because he has Felicity on his team. Cause he doesn’t. He totally doesn’t. He sees from the corner of his eye that Diggle is grinning. He ignores it cause Diggle’s an idiot.

 

 

Oliver wakes up the next day on the couch in the warehouse, a smell of coffee tingling his nose. That’s one of the things he missed the most on the island so he happily wriggles out of the blanket he’s wrapped in and gets up. Felicity is sitting in front of the computer holding a cup of that drink of the gods and Oliver feels a childish need to snap the cup out of her hand and drink it just to tease her a bit. Cause he is a giant six year old apparently. He can’t help but feel that way around her and he’s just happy to see her cause she’s an amazing friend. That’s it she’s just s a friend. Everyone feels like that around friends, right? He unintentionally laughs out loud.  
  
“Jesus and Holy Moses!” Felicity jumps from her chair almost spilling coffee all over him. He didn’t even realize how close he was standing until now. He draws in a breath and he can smell her perfume and apple scented shower gel with a mixture of the unique smell of her. If he gets hard at that, well, it’s just because it’s an early morning and a man has needs that’s all. He shifts a bit trying to hide his erection and thanks the high heavens for sweatpants. He snaps the cup just in time and chuckles. Honestly this woman turns him into a giant child and he doesn’t even feel ashamed of it. That’s what friends do to each other, right?  
  
“Morning.” he can’t help but smile.  
  
“Give a girl a warning when you are sneaking on her shirtless. Not that you are sneaking. And ... I didn’t... I mean I didn’t notice that you are shirtless. I mean I did but... Okay shutting up now” Felicity’s cheeks go pink and she looks away. Oliver laughs at that and asks her if there’s coffee for him even though he knows there is because she always makes an extra cup for him. Hands down she makes the best coffee and he won’t admit it but he would die if that was taken away from him.  
  
“Yeah it’s in the coffee maker” she mutters still a bit out of breath but the blush is slowly creeping out of her cheeks and she continues typing something. Again he’ll die before he admits it but he really likes her dorkyness and finds it endearing. Who knew that he liked socially awkward girls? Not like like. Just like. Like a friend like and OMG he’s turning into a dork too. What has his life become? He honestly could listen to her babble forever when she can’t seem to find a way to shut up. Whoever thinks it’s annoying is an idiot cause it’s the cutest thing.  
  
“So pursuiting criminals on your own, then?” he asks gesturing to the screen where a picture of some guy and his resume is pulled up. Felicity goes completely red and tries to shut down the screen but Oliver is quicker he manages to gently snatch her arms from the keyboard and holds her up close by the waist just far away from the keyboard so she can’t turn it off. Maybe he uses that as an excuse to sniff her hair. Totally by accident. He reads everything at let’s her go laughing.  
  
“Well not that I support unpayed parking tickets but I don’t think it’s a cause to shoot an arrow up someone ass. Not our usual type of criminal, is he?” he smiles at Felicity while she fumbles with the keyboard shutting down all the windows.  
  
“Oh tell me. What has he done to deserve such a thorough background check?” He asks her mockingly. Felicity turns around and looks really uncomfortable and a bit guilty like a child caught with its hand in a cookie jar.  
  
“It’s a date.” she huffs out.  
  
“What?!” Oliver exclaims louder than necessary. Besides it’s not his fault. She shouldn’t be dating it’s dangerous with the life that they lead. She flinches a bit at his tone.  
  
“Well I know it’s creepy and all to check out a guy’s that you are dating record and all but... I just can’t trust anyone. I see criminals in everyone that I meet and this guy seems too awesome to be real and I just wanted to check him out so I don’t end up dead in a ditch or something.” She huffs out in one breath.  
  
“You went on a date?” he sounds angry to his own ears and tries to cover it up with another question “Yesterday?” Felicity looks at him curiously and sighs.  
  
“Yes, officer. I did. That’s what people do. Even crime fighters like me.” she laughs and his stomach doesn’t melt. It totally doesn’t.  
  
“Is that why you didn’t pick up your phone when I called you?” he doesn’t understand why he is so angry. It was just a date. None of his business. Except it is. He cares about her, she’s a friend and he wants her to be safe. This is the only reason he’s angry. She could have told him. Of course he knows she has the right to go out and have fun. He knows that. He just doesn’t understand why he wants to shoot arrows at the guy she was with. It doesn’t make sense. He isn’t jealous. Why would he be? Friends aren’t jealous of other friend’s dates, are they? He never had a girl SPACE friend. Emphasis on a space so he jut probably sucks at it and needs more practise. Right?  
  
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” She looks genuinely sorry and Oliver knows he isn’t mad at her, he is mad at the guy who she was with and it’s just stupid so he grunts “Don’t do it again.” and walks out feeling like something is weighing onto his chests. He decides to exercise to relieve some of the anger so he does push ups and pull ups until his muscles ache so badly he can barely drag himself into a shower. When he walks out of the shower and Felicity looks at him he doesn’t get turned on. Not even a bit. Well maybe a little. Not his fault.


	2. I know in my heart she deserves better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver realizes that what he feels for Felicity is more than friendship. He kind of panicks

“Movie night! “ Felicity declares as soon as he opens the door to his apartment. She’s holding a box set of some TV show he’s never seen in his life; her hair and coat are a little bit damp from the rain. Her glasses are foggy and she looks a bit funny but still kinda sexy and nope... He is so not going there. He needs a date and soon. Very very soon. He snaps out of his mental monologue as she pushes through him inside, takes off her coat and throws it onto the couch. She then marches straight into the kitchen and Oliver follows her obediently. He likes the way she acts in his flat. Like she’s at home, like she belongs here and for a split of a second he starts to wonder that maybe she does but his train of thought is soon swallowed by Felicity’s babbling:

“I have the best caramel popcorn and I also brought some chocolate cause who doesn’t love chocolate? Crazy people that’s who I’m telling you.” she turns around and smiles her heart warming smile. “I know you watch what you put into your body but this is chocolate and popcorn so that’s kind of an offer you cannot refuse” She smirks at him, and Oliver notices that the corner of her glasses is still a bit foggy which makes her eyes look funny but beautiful nonetheless so he stares at her for a moment. Oliver doesn’t care what anybody says – that smile and those eyes could end wars. He’s sure of that. “So you gonna start the movie or what?” Felicity extends the DVDs to him looking expectantly. He takes them from her and reads the title.

“Doctor who?” he frowns “I swear to god, Felicity, I’m not watching another sci-fi movie with you and that’s final” he stomps his foot and feels a bit like an idiot or a little kid because seriously what grown man stomps his foot to get his point across? Well apparently he does but a man’s got to stand his ground, right? He knows he will end up watching whatever Felicity will tell him to watch because that woman is so persuasive she could sell anything. She looks at him amusement in her eyes, the corner of her lips quirked. Damn she knows that. She is evil, cute and evil. Deadly combination.

“Oh, you won’t? Is that so?” an evil glee flashes in her eyes and Oliver can already see himself watching that stupid TV show. “Oliver Queen!” she exclaims “Are you freaking pouting?” she laughs whole heartedly and his cheeks flush. Seriously? Flushing? Did he just lose all control of his body? Maybe he is some kind of a ‘Freaky Friday’ situation where he’s a teenager again who gets all rosy faced when a girl teases him. That would certainly explain a lot. Seriously, what the hell? He hasn’t flushed since 6th grade cause he is who he is and no girl in the history of ever made him feel embarrassed so he just rolls his eyes to hide his own surprise and says:

“No. I’m not” but even he knows that sounds weak so Felicity chuckles as he lets out an exasperated sigh. “If you tell someone I will deny it with all my might” He sees that she is trying her best to keep a straight face and not to crack up. Maybe he enjoys being the reason for that a little bit too much but who cares? He’s happy and most importantly she is too so he pretends to be all annoyed and broody and huffs out:  
“Fine. I will start the movie but...” he raises his finger threateningly to show he means business “next time I’m picking the movie and you can’t say anything bad about it!”

“Oh my god!” Felicity cries out dramatically “I’m not watching Fast and The Furious again! That movie sucks!”

“Take that back!” Oliver gives her a horrified look like she just grew a second head and she rolls her eyes at him. He can play this game too.

“You do realize that that movie makes no sense! It defies the laws of physics and as someone with a background of science education I find that offensive. It’s basically a big fuck you to physics. That movie is flipping off science.” she looks at him with a raised eyebrow and Oliver can’t help but feel the rightness of this. He would gladly spend the rest of his life arguing about movies and music and just being here with her. Not that he will ever admit that. Like ever. Nope.

“Oh yeah? And a movie about...” he looks and the box set again and reads “an alien travelling around the galaxy saving planets makes sense for you as ‘someone with scientific background’?“ he says mockingly. “Also, in a police box? Are you serious?” he looks at her in disbelief. She is so weird sometimes and he can’t really pin point the moment in his life when he started thinking of ‘weird’ as a good personality trait but well that happened and he can’t stop himself from thinking of it as endearing. Not that he is even going to try. 

“Hey! We are not alone in the universe. If you think we are, mister, then you are pretty self centred. What do you know? Maybe there actually is a sexy Doctor travelling around the galaxy saving everybody? The universe is infinite!” she crosses her arms over her chest, daring him to say something against that and Oliver knows better. He knows how passionate Felicity gets about her shows so he just smiles smugly at her and says:

“Okay. Just please when some dude asks you to get into a box and travel around the universe with him. Don’t. Even if he offers free wi-fi or chocolate” he smirks and Felicity sticks her tongue out.

“Very mature” he remarks and ducks down just in time to avoid being hit by the spoon she throws at him. He walks out of the kitchen laughing and it is lightest he felt since he came back. He feels like all the weight has been lifted from him, like he can handle all the burdens of his crusade as long as he has her. He doesn’t want to think why she is the only person to make him feel that way so he just pushes that thought to the back of his mind under the pile of things labelled ‘better not start picking at’. He flops onto the couch and hits the play button on the remote. Kind of a catchy tune starts playing (he will never admit that because he knows she will start the whole ‘I told you so talk’) and soon Felicity falls beside him, he throws his arm around her and covers them with a duvet. They watch the series in silence, sharing popcorn and eating chocolate which damn he really really missed. Sometimes Felicity makes a snide comment about something that’s happening on the screen or she just laughs at some line and Oliver wants to stop this moment and just sit like that forever. He misses half the show because he is too busy observing her expressions, the way she laughs and how she gets so emotionally invested in the show she’s probably seen hundreds of times before. He can tell she knows every line by heart but still keeps on watching. In the middle of the fifth episode Felicity starts to drift asleep so Oliver picks her up and carries her to his bed. He watches her sleep for a few minutes in a totally not creepy way. He is no Twilight vampire, okay? He watches her just cause he cares not because he is a freaky lurker. Suddenly it dawns on him that if he would ever lose this blond girl lying in his bed, curled up into a ball he would die. He could handle a lot and losing her is not one of those things. He goes back to the living room lies down on the couch and stares at the ceiling for a while trying to figure out when did he get so attached to the nerdy IT girl? The answer is simple: the moment she agreed to help him while he was bleeding on her backseat. He smiles at the memory of Felicity’s fear for his life and the way she wasn’t surprised, well not really surprised that he is the vigilante. He loves her for thinking he could be so good and selfless and try to free the city from criminals when everyone else thinks of him poorly. Probably poorly isn’t even a strong enough word and he knows, he deserves that but Felicity saw through all the crap, through his rich bad boy facade. She saw him for who he was when no one else could and that’s probably why she found a special place inside his heart when he thought he wouldn’t be able to let anyone else in. He loves the fact she didn’t dismiss him as the least likely candidate to be the vigilante. He thinks how beautiful she is and suddenly realizes that it’s just a bonus because for the first time in his life he doesn’t care how a girl looks like because what matters is WHO she is and even though it sounds lame her brain and her heart are the things that matter. He drifts off to sleep before he can even register the fact he used the word ‘love’.

 

 

Oliver is awaken by the smell of bacon and as soon as he opens his eyes he realizes he drooled all over the sofa. Which... Gross. He sits up and stretches out his limbs yawning. He cracks his neck feeling well rested which is weird since he slept on the sofa. He drags himself to the kitchen where Felicity is humming under her breath while making toast.

“Morning” he says, his voice deep and low from sleep and Felicity whistles.

“Oh wow! Not that you haven’t heard that from every girl who slept in your bed before but damn that voice is like sex. Oh shit. Tell me I didn’t say that out loud. Please tell me I didn’t say that out loud.” She looks flustered and embarrassed so Oliver offers apologetically:

“You didn’t say that out loud?” she groans and rubs her eyes under her glasses

“Mind to mouth filter - nonexistent.” she sighs and Oliver smirks happy to know he is not the only one being able to make an asshat of himself even though she does that in the cutest way while he well not so much. Felicity notices that he is rubbing his neck and smiles looking uncomfortable:

“Sorry I passed out and you had to sleep on the couch. You should have let me take the couch.” She smiles at him and Oliver has an urge to fall into his bed where Felicity lay and just wrap himself in those sheets. Which - what the fuck? Is he a dog? Seriously. This woman.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a gentleman. I would never let you sleep on that devils invention that is my couch” she giggles at that and Oliver would like that sound to be his alarm clock so that he would be waiting forward to being awaken by the heavenly sounds that is Felicity’s giggle.

“Well I made you a ‘thank you’ breakfast. Scrambled eggs with bacon and coffee.” ‘she cracks a smile at him “Your favourite.”

“How did you know?” he sits down at the table staring at the most appetizing looking eggs he’s ever seen.

“You told me before.” 

“You remembered?” he can’t hide his surprise because no one – not even his mom remembered such small details about him, especially after five years.

“Of course I did. That’s what friends do” she smiles at him and says “Well, I gotta run, cause I have to go to the office fix some computers, scowl at some idiots who were born in stone age and can’t even figure out how a computer looks like let alone turn one on. See you.” She waves and walks out the door. Oliver waves back.  
“Friends” he mutters testing the word on his lips. “A couple” he feels taken aback when he realizes he likes the sound of the latter way better. He doesn’t finish eating his breakfast because he feels like his stomach is in knots; he picks up his phone and calls Diggle:

“Diggle, I think it’s time we crossed another name of that list” he hears Diggle sigh at the other end of the phone.

“Okay, Oliver. You sound weird though. Is everything alright?” He knows Diggle’s just worried about him but he doesn’t need that now because he is not okay. Far from it actually so he snaps.

“Yeah everything is fine” and hangs up. He doesn’t want to think about Felicity right now and he can’t deal with his feelings especially since they are one sided so he does what he can do best. Puts on the Green Hood.

 

He drives to the warehouse way above the speed limit but he doesn’t care. Speeding through Starling city streets helps him to calm down and it’s what he actually needs. The piece, the solitude, the landscape of the city disappearing in the rear view mirror. He needs to gain control over his feelings, he has to. She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves better, she deserves someone who is worthy of her, someone who will make her happy. He truly believes that but he doesn’t understand why his heart sinks to the pit of his stomach or why his chest feels so tight just from the thought of Felicity with someone else. He punches the steering wheel and puts his foot on the accelerator harder. He hates feeling like this, he hates that a one simple girl became his whole world and he is too damn selfish to let her go. He wants to be with her even if it’s just as a friend. A simple girl who turned out to be the best thing in his entire life. The car comes into a halt in front of the warehouse and he jumps out of the car, walking in his ‘secret batman cave’ as Felicity likes to call it. He smiles at that. Just the thought of her makes him happy, makes him feel whole and fuck the universe for being so cruel and making him fall for someone who is way too good for him. He walks in, mumbles ‘hey’ to Diggle and turns his dad’s notebook without another word. He flips through the pages and finally decides on a name:

“Thomas Braden. He is a congressman and the head of a human trafficking net that is based in Starling city. In the last few years they have sold hundreds of girls to brothels. He is the lowest of the low. I think we have...” he is suddenly interrupted by Diggle who looks really concerned:

“Oliver, what the hell are you thinking? We decided a few weeks ago that we won’t be able to take him alone. That we need help. You told me yourself that going after him alone would be a suicide mission.”

“Diggle, I don't care. He is poisoning this city and I will either take him out or die trying” he sounds harsher then he intended to but he sees Diggle’s face soften “Listen, I’m not stupid. He is going to visit his family so he won’t have a lot of guards around him. I’m not suicidal I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”

“Okay, Oliver. You know that I trust you. I trust you with my life I’m just not sure I trust you with yours. You seem off today. Do we need to talk about it?” Diggles voice is concerned and he looks at him with worry in his eyes. Oliver forces a smile

“I’m fine. Really” he tries to sound as convincing as he can but he sees that he hasn’t fooled Diggle

“Fine. I know you’re lying. Just remember that whatever it is and if you don’t think you can talk to me about it you have Felicity. She cares about you as much as I do” his voice is warm and reassuring. Oliver swallows a lump in his throat and says

“I know she does and I know you do too.” He squeezes Diggle’s shoulder not sure whether he’s trying to reassure him or himself.

 

Everything doesn’t go fine. It seems like Oliver has underestimated the guards that were there. He didn’t expect them to have semi automatic guns, that’s for sure. He is good with the arrows but they can’t really protect against bullets coming directly at him. He barely managed to escape and he is dragging himself down the pavement struggling to stay upright. His arm is bleeding really badly and his calf was grazed by a ricocheting bullet which makes it even harder to walk. He is no doctor but he must have lost a lot of blood and he knows he doesn’t have long before he passes out. He tries to reach Diggle again but there is no signal. He feels panic rising in his chest and he realizes that no matter how many times he tried to convince himself he’s not afraid of death, he is. He doesn’t want to go, at least not like this – all alone, on the pavement in the middle of the street. After a few minutes he realizes he’s standing in front of Felicity’s apartment. He praises the gods that she lives on the first floor; he fishes her spare key from under the rug in front of the door. He struggles a bit with the lock but finally manages to get in. He can hear her laughing and it suddenly feels like a small part of his pain was taken away, it feels like everything will be okay. He is bleeding in her apartment and he is about to lose consciousness but he knows she will save him, she always does. Suddenly he hears a male voice calling out to her to get the glasses for wine and Oliver feels like all the air was sucked out of his chest. His vision starts to blur and everything goes black before he collapses he manages to grit out

“Felicity.” And the world goes dark.


	3. Don't you do this again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of all thanks for all of you who read this and a special thanks for those who leave comments. This chapter is shorter than the previous one cause uni and stuff but I hope you guys enjoy this. There will be longer chapters later and I promise a bit more action and less feelings ^^ Enjoy!

Oliver keeps coming in and out of consciousness. When he finally wakes he notices that he's in an unfamiliar room – pale blue walls decorated with pictures he can't quite make out because his vision is still blurred and his senses dulled from the pain and whatever painkiller he has been given. Sun is playing on his face and he can feel a chilly breeze rolling through the open window. He notices that he's lying on a double bed with soft fresh smelling sheets under him. He huffs out a sigh of relief after realizing that he is definitely not in a hospital which is good. Very good. The pain starts feeling a bit sharper probably because the painkillers are starting to wear off. He tries to get up but falls back onto the bed with a groan – searing pain flickers through his body. He adjusts his injured arm and squints when his fingers brush over the bandages there. Oliver looks around the room and the memories of last night start flooding him. He remembers walking to Felicity's apartment; he remembers the relief of being there, the feeling that everything will be just fine and then nothing pitch black. He realizes he must have blacked out by her door. He thinks he remembers Felicity's soft voice full of fear and concern whispering his name and he can't help but feel a pang of contentment at that thought. He lays in her bed feeling safe thinking of Felicity's careful arms on him trying to figure out where he's been hurt. He lifts up the covers just a bit with his uninjured arm, enough to see that he's completely naked besides the boxer briefs and he knows for sure that if he wasn't in so much pain, well, he would be very excited. He realizes that Felicity must have taken his clothes off, her soft hands running over his body and the thought sends a very pleasurable shiver down his spine. He stares into the ceiling for a while and starts to wonder where Felicity might have gone to when he hears a soft whisper in the other room. He strains to hear the hushed conversation happening behind the door.

"Listen, you can't tell about this..." Felicity's voice comes to a halt so Oliver assumes she must be gesturing her arms flailing all around the place. He can't help the soft smile that curves his lips. "He is good. Very good. In fact, he's the best man I've ever met. I... He is not the criminal police is trying to make him look. Please, just don't..." her voice trembles at the end of the sentence and Oliver stiffens. He remembers hearing some other voice when he came into the apartment but he just brushed it off as a hallucination when he woke up but this means he wasn't imagining it. He suddenly feels panic rising in his chest, a suffocating feeling engulfing him. He tries to take calm breathes but it feels like all air was sucked out of his lungs. The man must have seen him. Of course he has. He was lying right beside the door. This means that the man knows who he is and worst of all he knows that Felicity is involved. His heart starts beating faster, his breath heaving, and every intake of breath painful. It feels like the world is spinning faster and he feels sick at to the pit of his stomach, he feels tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Suddenly there's arms pressing him down on the mattress which makes him feel even more caged and he tries to shake them off. He wants to stand up, to get out, he needs air. Then there's a hand on the back of his neck soothing him and Felicity's voice comes through the darkness calling out his name. It's like he can breathe again.

He must have not realized that he blacked out because when he opens his eyes it's dark outside and Felicity is curled up beside him, their fingers intertwined. Oliver blinks a few times letting his eyes adjust to the dark. He lifts their hands to his face and gently brushes his lips on Felicity's hand. He realizes he had a panic attack. He had quite a few of those since he got back from the island but it's been a very long time since the last one. He squeezes Felicity's hand trying to reassure, to anchor himself. He can't help but wonder whether this is it? Has the guy gone to the policy? Will they come in barging through the door any second now, to take him and her away? He trembles at the thought. Not her. She doesn't deserve this. It's his fault she's in this mess. He will never forgive himself for what his done to his IT girl. He should have stayed away but he was too selfish, too cocky. He needed her so he came to her consequences be damn. It's not really worth living if that means hurting her but it's too late now isn't it. He should have stayed in the street; he should not have gone to her. It was stupid, reckless, and needy. Felicity should have run. She should have disappeared. Oliver wonders why she didn't run, she could have easily made herself a passport, a new identity and bolted but then again this is Felicity. A mad, unexplainable woman. His mad girl. He didn't realize that he was tracing his index finger up and down Felicity's arm until she opened her eyes, taking her arm from his palm and rubbing her hand on her face.

"Morning" she murmurs sleepily and forget the giggle. This. This sound is the best sound in the entire world of sounds. Oliver could easily get accustomed to waking up in the morning to Felicity's face inches away from his, her breath on his skinny, sleepy 'good mornings' and make out sessions. He quickly averts his eyes from her face before doing something stupid and reckless, like kissing that face, those cheeks, those eyes. He basically ruined her life; he knows he doesn't have any right to kiss her to ask anything from her even though he wants it more than anything else in the world. He wants to press his lips to hers so much it burns him and it takes every ounce of self control his got not to press her into the mattress and taste her mouth, run his fingers through her hair. He feels Felicity's fingers on his cheek as she turns his head softly to face her in a way that he is gazing straight into her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes, shinning so bright and he looks into them. He stares into them like a starving man stares into a loaf of bread. He wishes he could drown in them that would be a way to go. He looks for hate, for loathing there. He expects to see a burning hate in them because he is the reason the police will be barging through that door in a matter of second but it's just not there. Maybe he just doesn't see it? Or maybe he doesn't want to? Instead what he sees is relief and joy and Oliver feels completely lost. This girl will always be a big puzzle to him, never doing what he expects her to do. He gathers all his will and tries to put every single feeling, every single thought he had about her since the minute they met into his voice and says

"Sorry" He turns his gaze away because he is afraid. He's a coward and he's simply too scared to see the hate that for sure will be there now and he doesn't think he can handle her loathing him. Anyone but not her, not the one that matters. To his surprise Felicity chuckles and he feels completely taken aback.

"Well you should be. You bled on my best sheets. I really liked them, you know" and if Oliver was lost before there isn't enough words to describe what he feels now. So he stares right at her searching her face. Her smiling face. They are about to be thrown in jail and she is smiling? Does she not realize the seriousness of this situation? Maybe she's in shock? In denial?

"No. I'm... I'm sorry for ever getting you into this. I know... I know that guy has probably gone to the police already and..." he feels a lump in his throat as he imagines Felicity being hauled into a station because of him. He swallows it down "Sorry for getting you arrested" She gapes at him for a few seconds and breaks into fits of laughter. She laughs so hard that she has to sit down, her eyes are shining from tears. Oliver looks at her thinking that she is probably having a mental break down because they are facing life sentence and she is literally cracking up in laughter. He stares at her dumbfounded not knowing what to say or what to do and waits for a slap or something for an outburst of anger. For her to start shouting, throwing things. Oliver can deal with that but this, well, this is just plain crazy.

"Oh my god." Felicity finally manages to huff out whipping the tears with the back of her hand. "So that's why you looked like 'a boy whose puppy just been kicked and then told you Santa is not real' when you looked at me. The police are not coming" she smiles, clearly trying to hold back her laughter.

"What do you mean?" Oliver feels lost, confused. "How can they not be coming? That guy he saw me. I heard you talking. I..." the words fail him as relief starts flooding him. She won't be arrested, the guy didn't say anything, and he feels like he could definitely kiss him right now.

"Well you know how persuasive I can be" she wiggles her eyebrows at him and Oliver doesn't want to imagine her being persuasive with some other man so he just tries to shun the image at the back of his mind while Felicity continues. "As it turns out, he is kind of a fan of The Hood. Besides I didn't let him see your face so he just knows that I'm helping the vigilante but your identity remains a secret."

"Thank you" is all he whispers because this girl. She's done more for him than anyone else. There isn't enough words to express how grateful he is. To tell her what this, what she means to him.

"Well you are still not getting out of buying me new sheets, you know" Felicity smiles and then she suddenly leans over him. Oliver's heart stops for a second and all he can see is her face so close to his, their lips merely two inches apart. He can feel her every intake of breath on his skin. He takes in a sharp breath and looks her straight in the eyes. He sees something there. Something he can't identify and he doesn't know whether it's just him but he feels like she is trying to tell him something. She runs her fingers through his hair and letting them linger on his cheek. His chest is heaving; she puts her face in the crook of his neck and whispers

"I thought... I thought I lost you... You were lying in a pool of your blood and for one horrible minute I thought" she shudders at the thought and quickly spits out "I thought you left and I felt so so alone. It felt like my chest was ripped open." She lifts her head from his neck with closed eyes and Oliver shudders from the loss of contact. She opens her eye lids and looks at him searching his face. Oliver stares right back at her, too scared to breath; too afraid this is not real, too afraid to wake up like so many nights before just to realize it's just a dream. She leans in a bit closer and he's sure that they will kiss but then she does what he didn't expect. At all. She hits him in the arm. It doesn't really hurt because she hit his uninjured arm but he is so shocked that it leaves him gaping open mouthed at her. Felicity stands up gives him a hard look and says.

"If you ever scare me like this again, I will shoot you myself." Then she walks out of the room saying she's going to sleep on the couch so he can rest. Oliver's heart is pounding in his chest, his throat dry. For a second he really thought she was about to kiss him. Or is he just imagining things? Maybe he wanted this for so long he can't even tell what's what? One thing he knows for sure though: no way in hell he is sleeping tonight.


	4. Wishfull thinking

Oliver feels nervous, his heart beating way above normal rate from anxiety. His palms are sweaty and he keeps tossing his phone from one hand to another, scowling at it as though the phone is somehow personally insulting him. He keeps replaying the conversation he had with his mother in his head and tries to convince himself that he has to do this, that there’s simply no other way. Even though there is, he just doesn’t want _another way._ Or simply saying he doesn’t want someone else. It isn’t even a date not really. They would be going out as friends. There is no harm in that. People do it all the time, right? _“Yeah when they are not in love with that friend”_ a thought flashes in his mind. He swallows and takes in a deep breath. There goes nothing. He dials Felicity’s number and she picks up after a few beeps, three to be precise. Maybe he counted okay? It helps him deal with the situation and it is not desperate. At all.

“Hi, Oliver. What’s up?”  Felicity’s cheery voice rings from the phone and Oliver can feel his heart skip a beat. They haven’t talked in a week not since he left her apartment after that hell of a confusing night. He didn’t really realized just how much he missed her. Just hearing her voice spends shivers down his spine and it punches out all the courage from him so he starts stuttering like a school boy he is. Apparently.

“I... Well, I wanted. I mean I was wondering that. You that you like... If you are not busy that is...” He braces himself. He can do this. He is Oliver fucking Queen, he had asked out hundreds of girls before. He’s got it. What’s the worst that could happen? _“She could say no”_ his dickish inner voice suggests which fuck him. He needs a new inner self. He takes a deep breath and spills out “Would you go with me to the charity gala my mother is throwing to honour my father?” he sighs and waits patiently for a reply. Felicity is silent for a minute.

“Well, Oliver I don’t think I’m the best candidate for such a thing. I mean I’ve never in my life been to such an event. I will just end up embarrassing you.”

“There is nothing you can do to embarrass me” he says before he can think about it.

“Um, Oliver, I...” Felicity hesitates “Maybe you should take someone else, someone from your world” the words to his ear sound forced out like she doesn’t want to say them but rather has to. Maybe it’s just his imagination taking leaps and letting him see what he wants? Oliver swallows the urge to tell her _“you are my world”_ and goes for a safer, more neutral option.

“Felicity, I don’t want someone else.” He whispers, his voice raw with honesty and fear that she might still say no. “I want you there cause I need a friend and you are the only one I’ve got besides Diggle and Tommy. And well since Tommy is taking Laurel I can’t really ask him, you know.” he tries to joke but all he gets from Felicity is a muttered:

“Oh, I see” her voice sounds hurt and Oliver doesn’t know what he said wrong but before he can start apologizing (even though he has no clue what he did) Felicity caves “Okay, I will go.” She sounds kinda sad and he has no idea why. He tries to put all his gratitude in his voice when he says:

“Thank you. It means a lot.” She is silent for a second and Oliver starts thinking maybe she hung up on him. He almost throws his phone when Felicity suddenly squeals:

“Oh my god what will I wear? OH MY GOD!” Oliver can hear how freaked out she is and can already see her eyebrows knitted together, delicate fingers playing with her hair when she’s trying to come up with a solution. He smiles to himself and tries to calm her down.

“Well, don’t worry you will look cute no matter what you’re wearing” instantly he wants to slap himself for saying this. How can he pull the whole _‘just friends’_ thing when he can’t even keep his mouth shut for a few seconds. “Thea will be at your place to take you shopping” his voice hitches at the end but she doesn’t seem to notice because he can hear Felicity’s sigh of relief at the other end and a muttered

 “Oh wow. I have a fairy godmother. All I need now is a pumpkin and a few rats.” Oliver tries to tease her a bit _(cause that’s what friends do, right?)_ and says

“Well sorry that I’m not your prince.”

“Yeah, not mine” is all Felicity says her voice very thoughtful and sad. Oliver doesn’t know what to say to that so he simply says goodbye. As soon as he hangs up his mind goes into overdrive trying to figure out what did she mean by that and at the end he thinks that he either has a very active imagination or there was _something_ in that one short sentence. He really hopes for the latter.

 

* * *

 

He changes his suit for the third time and he already lost count of how many ties are tossed into a pile on his bed. He’s so nervous he feels like it’s high school all over again and he is going to the prom with his crush. Except that in high school he wasn’t so nervous, not even close _. ‘She’s just a friend’_ he tries to convince himself over and over again. No more, no less. He finally decides on a black ‘Armani’ suit and a white button up shirt. You can never go wrong with the classics. He picks out a black handmade tie and puts on cufflinks with his initials (a gift from his mother). He puts on some perfume which Felicity may or may not have mentioned to be her favourite. You want to smell nice for friends too, okay? He almost runs late to pick up Felicity in the haste of his preparation and feels like an idiot. When the black limo pulls up in front of Felicity’s apartment building he gets out from the back seat and leans at the door waiting for her to emerge.

When she finally walks out the door he stares at her for a few minutes. Only when Felicity is standing at an arm’s length from him and puts her hand on his face does he realize his jaw is hanging open.

“Here. Let me close that for you.” She chuckles and Oliver swears she let her hand linger on his face for a bit. Or is it just wishfull thinking? She looks stunning. Not that she doesn’t look gorgeous everyday but THIS. Wow. She is wearing a long sleek strapless dress which is hugging her waist and breasts in all the right places. The dress is black and it compliments the fairness of her skin and her blond curls which are cascading down her shoulders. Oliver can feel the surge of want flooding him and he has to use all his restraint to not extend his arm and run his fingers (or preferably lips) over her collarbone. He has no words, no way to express how amazing she looks. He doesn’t know whether he wants to thank his sister or murder her. This evening is going to be way harder than he anticipated.

“Shall we go?” Felicity asks feeling a little squirmish under his gaze, her cheeks a bit flushed. Oliver snaps back from his thoughts and clears his throat:

“Yes but first I have something for you” he smiles, opens the car door and produces a package wrapped in a nice paper.

“Oliver, you didn’t need to. I mean. I... thank you” Felicity sounds shocked and Oliver smiles at her

“Well you kinda said that I did have to” Felicity flushes and looks at him eyes wide from shock

“What? I never! I never said you had to buy me things. I...” her voice breaks at the end. Oliver puts a hand on her shoulder and doesn’t miss how Felicity shudders under his touch

“Just open it. Please” Felicity looks at him still bewildered but does as she’s told.

“Sheets? You got me sheets?” she stares at him amusement on her face

“Well I didn’t want to lose our friendship over some linen so...” he laughs at her expression which is amusement mixed with relief.

“Well, that’s some innuendo.” Oliver looks at her puzzled and Felicity goes even redder trying to correct herself “I didn’t. I didn’t mean that you were implying. I meant that... I’m not saying that you would like that. Not that you don’t like that. Just not with me. Not that I wouldn’t... I mean...” her arms start flailing all around the place and Oliver doesn’t seem to find the right words so he just puts his hands on her shoulders and says

“We should go” he opens the car door for her and helps her get in. They ride in silence both lost deep in thought.

* * *

 

When they arrive the paparazzi are already swarming all around the place and as soon as they get out of the car there’s cameras being pushed in their faces, bright flashes almost blinding him. He takes Felicity’s warm palm in his and Oliver helps them make their way to the entrance. They stop at the top of the stairs. Oliver leans in close to Felicity’s ear and whispers

“Just smile. Everything will be fine” he squeezes her hand reassuringly and she squeezes right back. He doesn’t miss the sharp intake of breath from her when his lips are mere inches away from her ear. Interesting he thinks. His head is full of thoughts _‘Could it be that? But maybe?  No.’_ He tells himself and he pushes the thought aside, he’s being stupid. That’s all.

When they finally go inside they are swallowed by a crowd of people. He snakes his arm around Felicity’s waist unwilling to let go. He needs her. He needs to anchor himself, to keep calm as all these strangers start coming around and asking questions about his father, questions he doesn’t want to answer. They all want to shake his hand and ask him what exactly happened on that island. Get the word straight from the horses mouth so they can later leak it to the press. They are like predators and he is their prey. They want exciting Robinsone Crusoe stories, drama and some gruesome details. He plasters on a fake smile cause it’s a charity gala and he’s the main entertainment. He needs to play nice and pretend to be interested in their chatter. He thanks high heavens Felicity is here. She feels how tense he is and puts her hand on his, he smiles at her gratefully. He can do this.

After an hour or so he spots Laurel and she walks up to him

“Hi, Oliver. Nice to see you.” She leans in and kisses him on the cheek. Felicity quickly entangles herself from him and Oliver winces at the loss of contact.

“You too.” He smiles politely. “Where’s Tommy?”

“He’s talking with someone. Could we maybe talk?” she glances at Felicity who is standing by Oliver’s side but now she has put some distance between them and Oliver doesn’t like that.

“Privately” Laurel emphasises the word and he feels a surge of anger at her for ignoring Felicity like that.

“Okay.” He says “Just make it quick.” He turns to Felicity and asks “Do you mind? It will be just a few seconds.” She looks at him and nods.

“It’s fine. Go. Take as long as you need” her eyes are sad and her voice sounds hurt. Oliver gives her one questioning look but can’t really give it more thought cause Laurel is already by his side putting her arm around his. He walks away with her upstairs and throws Felicity one look over his shoulder but he can only see her back as she is heading for the bar.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So...” Laurel starts looking a bit uncomfortable “Is that your new girlfriend?” Her voice sounds resentful and Oliver doesn’t want anyone talking about Felicity like that

“No. She’s a friend.” He says voice cold and distant. He realizes that for the first time, he doesn’t feel anything for Laurel, he respects her as a lawyer and his best friend’s girlfriend but that’s it. She’s the past. He knows he wouldn’t run after her if she called, not anymore. She is standing in front of him and all he can think about is Felicity. He really wants to get back to her and maybe dance for a bit, bodies flushed close together, her face in the crook of his neck. He knows he can’t have the real thing that it will be just as friends but he will take what he can get. He looks at Laurel impatiently and asks: “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“It’s about Tommy.” She starts and sounds a bit uncertain. Oliver feels uneasy feeling creeping into his chest and asks

“Is he okay?” Laurel looks at him with a fond expression and nods

“Yeah. I guess. I mean he’s been really secretive lately and I’m scared that he might get into trouble. I mean after what his father did to the city he lost all of his wealth, he doesn’t have a job and...” she swallows looking a bit uncertain “and I think he feels like he lost you too. You haven’t talked to him since that night in Glades and it’s been almost a year now.” Oliver feels guilty that he have abandoned Tommy like that after everything that’s happened so he says

“He will never lose me. He can talk to me whenever he wants and I can give him a job if he wants one” he would really like to have Tommy at the club again but he’s almost sure that he wouldn’t take the offer because he still feels betrayed that Oliver didn’t tell him about The Hood.

“I will tell him that” Laurel smiles at him “and Oliver, thank you.”

“Anytime” he squeezes her shoulder and smiles at her. “Well I have a friend downstairs to get back to”

“Sure. A friend” Laurel laughs at him and he wonders whether he’s that transparent.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Oliver comes downstairs he can’t see Felicity anywhere so he goes to the bar to order a drink. While he makes his way through the dance floor he can feel girls oogling him and one of them even squeezes his ass. In the past he would have revelled in such attention but now he just feels uncomfortable and tries to get away faster. When he finally gets to the bar and orders scotch he notices Felicity at the other end of the bar flirting with some guy. His stomach flips and his breath becomes harsh and shallow, his hands automatically curl into fists at his sides, itching to swing out and put a dent in the wall beside him. He downs his whiskey in one gulp and puts the glass on the table harder than he intended to. He startles some guy who murmurs something similar to _“asshole”_ but he doesn’t care. He looks as Felicity throws her head back and laughs at something that idiot said. Okay, maybe he doesn’t have any grounds to hate the guy’s guts but he doesn’t care. He looks like an asshole. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he hates the guy just because he’s flirting with Felicity but at the moment it doesn’t matter. Oliver scowls at the pair and he feels the need to go there and kiss Felicity, claim her as his. The rational side of his brain knows he doesn’t have any right to do that but the feeling of jealousy is slowly growing into his skin, filling his blood. It makes his eyes go dark, and his mouth becomes a straight line. The guy leans into her personal space, even from afar looking seductive and Oliver can‘t take it anymore. He makes his way towards them against his better judgement. He stops behind the guy and Felicity looks uncomfortable when she notices him

“Oliver!“ she exclaims louder than necessary and the guy turns around to face him looking irritated that he was interrupted. Oliver feels smug.

“So whose your friend?” Oliver purposely emphasises the word friend, his voice dark and dangerous. Felicity giggles at him.

“I like it when you’re all broody” she chuckles “Makes you look seeeexyyyy” only now Oliver realizes that Felicity is completely drunk which doesn’t make sense cause he was gone for no longer than 40 minutes. Oliver can feel anger rising in him but now for a whole different reason

“What did you give her?” he stabs his finger into the guys chest.

“Chill man. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend” he holds up his arms in defence. Felicity pushes herself from the wall and tries to walk but stumbles, Oliver catches her just in time and she giggles fisting her hands into his shirt.

“I’m not his girlfriend.”Felicity pouts “He looooves Laurel” Oliver looks at her and sees that she’s frowning “I don’t like her” she mutters in his ear and under different circumstances he would be jumping up and down the place. He knows Felicity isn’t herself so he holds her closer to himself and focuses on the guy

“Even though she isn’t my girlfriend, what the fuck are you doing slipping drugs to girls, you piece of shit?”

“How do you know she didn’t ask for it?” the guy looks at him smugly.

“Cause I know her you dumb shit. You are lucky I’m holding her or otherwise I would kick your stupid ass” Oliver takes deep breathes trying to calm down and suddenly Felicity kisses his cheek and chuckles

“But you are my prince” she puts her head on his shoulder and falls asleep. Oliver is so shocked that he doesn’t even notice when the guy slips away.

He takes Felicity in his arms and carries her outside. He walks up to the limo that is parked just in front of the entrance. He gently lays Felicity on the car seat and climbs in. He taps on the window between driver’s and passenger’s seats and says

“Take me to my apartment” he sits back and puts Felicity’s head on his lap. He starts running his fingers through her hair trying to calm down and to forget the asshole who did this to her. He looks out the window and sees an unfamiliar landscape. He knocks on the window again

“Hey, why did you change the route?” there’s no answer from the driver and an uneasy feeling starts building in his chest. He taps on the window again but there’s no response. Suddenly white smoke starts filling the car and Oliver desperately grabs the door handle even though he already knows it will be locked. He starts coughing as he inhales the white smoke and he feels his senses dulling. After a few seconds there’s only blackness.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the English is a bit crappy. Not my native language but I'm working on it.  
> Leave comments. Thanks.


End file.
